Wednesday, December 25, 2013

4 BETTER OR 4 WORSE EXCERPT RELEASE!!!!

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! 4 BETTER OR 4 WORSE EXCERPT RELEASE CHAPTER 1!!! HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY BOO'S MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! IT'S LATE DUE TO MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY BUT I AM MAKING SURE TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO READ!!! LOVE YOU HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY AND PLEASE BE SAFE FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!! ~LOVE BLOU


Chapter One: With You

          Back home and Kenya was so happy and comfortable in her own skin. Key West was everything and more. She needed the vacation….they needed the vacation. To get away from all of the madness that had gone on and to find their selves and get their bond right. She had been having a lot of doubts but Jackson reassured her that he was just as crazy over her as she was him. It felt great loving him and knowing he loved her back. In fact not only did he love her, he adored her. Her walk, smile, the way she wore her hair, and not to mention the fact that the girl had style for the both of them. She complimented him and he would have to be a very blind man to not realize that it was time to change and make better decisions. He had seen and done a lot of things but she was worth changing for. She stuck around when he gave her a million reasons to leave. She had been very loving, patient, understanding, and feisty all when he needed her to be. He had plenty of women but she had been the WOMAN!

          Turning on the air in the house and Kenya was ready to get showered. She was hot and sticky from the flight and not to mention the fact that they had walked in a sauna. Kenya went to run her a shower slowly peeling off articles of clothing as it got warm to her liking. She stepped inside and the water took control of her body giving her a nice massage. She took a deep breath closing her eyes. She was in bliss. With her eyes closed she let the scenes of love making play in her head over and over. Jackson had taken her there. He had done it! He whispered everything in her ear that she wanted and needed to hear. She would die before she lost him. She had planted her seeds and now she watched as they blossomed. He had her gone.

          After showering the house had finally cooled down. The sun had gone down and with her towel wrapped around her Kenya headed to the bedroom. She listened to her favorite girl in the world Monica as she brushed her hair. Cause I love…..kickin it with you….me and you….gettin it on….so baby….slide a tape in boy…you know…play our song….chillin….ridin to the music….laid back low…when I’m with you,” she sang somewhere in her own world. She patted her hair dry then pulled it up into a bun. She sat on the bed and put on her lotion loving the silky feeling that it provided for her skin. She inhaled deeply continuing to rub it in. She slipped on some leopard boy shorts and a tank top and her slippers. It was already hitting on nine o’clock and Jackson hadn’t been upstairs yet. So she decided to go down to get him.

          Seeing him on the back and he stood smoking a blunt and looking at their backyard. Kenya went out behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah…you smell good,” he said putting the blunt out. He turned around looking down at her with that heavy gaze over his eyes. She was in love all over again. “Come on,” she said taking him by his hand. She led them upstairs and took control of him. She got him undressed and slowly ran her manicured hands over his chest. He loved when she took charge. She pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top straddling him. She gave him nice sweet kisses slowly making a trail down his abdomen. He looked at her biting his bottom lip. Kenya slowly pulled down his boxers revealing his manhood. She looked at it seductively biting her lip. She gave it a couple strokes slowly replacing her hand with her mouth. “Damn Ken,” Jackson said as the heaviness of his words and the fact that his gaze gave him all away. She knew the boy was in love. She went to work ready to bring him pleasure. She owned the bedroom and was always ready to give him the ride of his life. He slowly pulled her up ready to get deep inside of her. Jackson rolled them both over and for a minute he just stared at Kenya. He had done a lot and seen a lot and the fact that she was still there through it all he was gone be the best damn man he knew he could be. “I love you….you know that?” he asked slowly inserting himself in her. His eyes spoke it all. His eyes spilt his heart. “I love you more baby,” she moaned in his ear. He went as deep as she would possibly allow him to. She loved her some him. The boy had her head gone. The passion that he bought out in her was enough to keep her coming back for more. But the fact that she was watching him evolve and come so far made it that much more worth it. Jackson made Kenya feel like she was the only girl in the world because now she was to him and he wanted her to know that she had it hands down. Her body responded to him as if he were a fire work….it just exploded. Every time he gave it to her it was like the first time and she would do it again each time.

          The next morning Kenya was paralyzed and out of it. She could barely move. She heard Jackson moving around and as many times as she tried opening her eyes they just wouldn’t seem to open. She want to stay cooped up in bed all day but she knew that she had to get up and get ready for work. “Ken….I thought you said you had to go to the shop,” Jackson said. He was reading her mind.

“I do….just a few more minutes,” she said still half sleep. Her bed was so warm and she was so exhausted. “Come on baby….let’s go,” he said pulling the cover back exposing her naked body. She looked up at him the cool air hitting her. “You real funny,” she said finally opening her eyes. Jackson was getting dressed. She got up and slipped on her robe and went to run a shower. “Where you going anyway?” she asked.

“Make a couple moves….nowhere major.”

“Yeah it’s never nowhere major.”

“It’s not….I’ll be here later.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and headed out. Kenya went on to get her day started although she was really against it.

$$$

          Heading to the city and Jackson picked Rich up first. He was out and on a mission….a mission to hustle and hustle hard. “Yo nigga vacation over or what?” Rich asked hopping shot gun in his Hummer that was back in action.

“Yeah….you know it. Grind time nigga.”

“I’m always down for that,” Rich said. He lit the blunt that Jackson had already in his ashtray.

“I gotta make a stop first at Felix though.” Felix was their jeweler. The two had known him since they got in the game. They had copped their first piece of diamonds from him and had never seen anyone else since then. “Nigga ain’t nobody got time to be chasing no watch fetish. We got real shit to handle and I gotta be at the crib by six…I gotta go to Michelle mom’s birthday dinner,” Rich said.

“Nigga ain’t nobody chasing a watch fetish,” Jackson said as he took 290 to the loop. He was on some other shit. Some for better or for worse type shit. Some til death do us part.

          When they made into Rosci Diamond there were only a few costumers there. It was family owned and everyone knew both Jackson and Rich. “Jackson Rich…..my two main men,” Felix said coming from behind the counter. He was a short fast talking Italian. He was pretty clean cut and his jewelry was enough to light the room. “Wassup Felix man?” Rich said and he shook both their hand.

“Nothing…nothing. We gone go shoot some hoops or what? You always bullshittin….I’ll bust your ass and have your momma calling me daddy,” he joked. That was him and Rich they joked anytime they saw one another but it was all in fun and games. “Yo Felix you got that ready for me or what?” Jackson asked.

“You know I got you…you know I got you. I’m telling you. You’re going to make her a lucky lady,” Felix said. He took the two to his office closing the door. He went to his safe grabbing a box to come over and show Jackson. He took a seat and slowly opened the box staring at the beauty that looked in his eyes. HE turned it around for both Rich and Jackson to see and Jackson nodded his head liking what he saw. “A huned K….right there. I’m telling you before you even make it down the aisle you’re gonna be having two more kids off this ring along. If I’m lyin I’m flyin and as you can see I haven’t left my seat,” he said cocky. He knew the ring was the shit. He took pride in designing rings and right now he was holding it as his most prized possession. “This mothafucka is bad,” Jackson said taking the ring. He looked at it and it spoke volumes. It was so Ken. She didn’t ask for much but she deserved it all and he wasn’t going to come with no shorts. He gave Felix back the ring and let him get the paperwork together and then he and Rich were out.

          Back in Jackson’s Hummer and Rich wasn’t going to keep quiet about this. He was proud of him for taking the next step but he wanted to make sure he was on that because it was gone get real and he knew how Jackson could get. “Yo Jacks….you sure you ready for this shit?” Rich asked looking over at him.

“Yup….I know what I’m getting myself into and I’m on that. I know I did a lot been through a lot and a lot of people probably don’t think I can actually be with one woman but I’m ready. I didn’t do it because she have Jay, or because she put up with my bullshit or because she stuck around when I gave her a million reasons to leave. That’s just a extra bonus. I’m in love with that girl and I’m man enough to admit that she got my heart in her fucking pocket,” Jackson said. Rich was his homie…his brother…and he could tell him anything. “Well then my nigga…welcome to the club,” he said as they dapped out. He was proud of Jackson. He honestly never thought that anyone would live to see the day.

$$$

          After a long day in the shop and Kenya was over tired. Her feet were hurting and all she wanted to do was go home take a long bath and maybe have a couple glasses of champagne. She was beat. As she drove home she talked on the phone with Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea always seemed to have something going on. Now it was about Josie who had been her on again off again boo for four years. They were always down one another throats but could never be without one another. “He just gets on my damn nerve. Like you laughing but I’m so serious,” she said.

“Sweet Pea…..I wish that ya’ll would just get over it and get ya’ll shit together like forreal. Damn ya’ll been doing this shit for years. He mess with her you mess with him ya’ll se each other and ya’ll leave them to be together. Just put it out there,” Kenya said.

“Girl by….who you fooling. Speaking of the devil this him texting me. Hold on,” she said.

“Go ahead I’m pulling up to the house now. Call me in the morning.”

“Okay goodnight, love you.”

“Love you more chick.” Kenya ended the call and pulled into the garage. She grabbed her purse and headed inside. She could hear the sound of Donnell Jones Knocks Me Off My Feet and the smell of food lit her nostrils. The house was lit up from only the candle light and she immediately got nervous. This was something so new to her. “Am I in the right house,” she smiled when she saw Jackson.

“I think so,” he smirked giving her a kiss. She looked on the table and he had made a feast for a King and Queen. Crab legs, steak, seven layer salad, garlic bread and loaded potatoes. She was in heaven and not to mention a bottle of Dom Perignon. He was reading her damn mind. Kenya was unable to fathom the fact that he had done all of this for her. He pulled her chair out and let her sit then took his seat. He poured them both glass of Dom and she took a sip immediately to calm her nerves. She could feel that she was blushing from ear to ear. They made small talk as they ate but Kenya was way too full off the moment to really eat.

          After dinner and four glasses of champagne Kenya was good and tipsy. Her eyes low and Jackson led her upstairs. He had rose petals leading to their bedroom and candles lit to perfection. She looked on stopping when she saw the words Will You Marry Me spelled out in Rose Petals on the floor. She looked back at him and down on one knee Jackson took her hand in his first kissing it. He pulled out the ring and like he had rehearsed he asked her the million dollar question his heart beating a ten times the normal pace. He had never been so nervous in all his life. “Will you marry me Kenya?” he asked. She smiled tears coming down her face. Would she? Hell you she was going to! “Yes….of course,” she said as he slid the rock on her finger. It was everything and more and it was her. It was elaborate and it spoke volumes. She pulled him up kissing him passionately. He had done it his way and she honestly couldn’t ask for it any other way. They spent hours making sweet passionate love their relationship seemed to be like wine….it got better with time.

          The next day and Kenya woke up and with the rock and the previous night’s sexapade they boy deserved breakfast. She got up and went downstairs and made him a feast made for a king not missing a minute to give everyone a wake up text of a picture of her rock. Sweet Pea was the first to call. “You’re lying to me!” she squealed.

“No….I’m engaged bitches.”

“Aw shit you and Shay can have a double wedding!”

“Yeah…you wanna mess up a friendship tell her some shit like that. Shana ass will drop up like white on rice.”

“Yeah…this is bridezilla. I am so happy for you, I mean you really deserve it Ken.”

“Thanks babes. Let me call you back though.”

“Okay.” Kenya ended the call and scrambled some eggs as she heard Jackson up running his water. She had made pancakes, sausage, eggs, grits, and chocolate milk. She took the food upstairs and as expected Jackson was back in the bed watching ESPN Zone. “Damn….breakfast in bed? I need to propose every day,” he joked.

“Haha very funny.” She took a seat joining him. They ate together and Kenya got the house back in order and got dressed to go get Jay. He had been with TiTI and Nana way to long. She missed him. “Make sure your dressed around eight. I’m going to take you out tonight to celebrate,” Jackson said. She nodded as he gave her a kiss and headed out.

          Finally dressed in a simple BCBG Max Azaria romper and Tory Burch flip flops Kenya was pulling up to TiTi house to get Jay. They sat on the porch eating snow cones from the candy store down the block. “Look who’s here. Where’s mommy big baby….come give me all your kisses Jackson,” Kenya said to Jay who was in his walker. He heard her voice and went crazy. She walked up the stairs and went over to grab him. She planted kisses all over his chubby cheeks. Nana and TiTi sat on the swing looking on. It was a nice day to sit out and enjoy the end of summer air. “You know what we want to see,” TiTi said as Kenya sat in a nearby chair. She held her hand out and they looked on in awe. They were very happy for her. “It’s beautiful for a beautiful girl,” Nana said kissing Kenya cheeks.

“Thanks Nana,” she smiled.

“Lord two down and two more to go….Autumn and Sweet Pea. I always said those two were going to be the last two,” TiTi laughed. She had said it since they were younger that Sweet Pea and Autumn would marry last. “It’s beautiful Kenya. Now since you always said you wanted a destination wedding I was thinking maybe Rio de Janeiro or St. Lucia.”

“I don’t know TiTi….we got time to plan. We not getting married tomorrow.”

“Well why put off for tomorrow what you can do today,” she said. They all laughed. They were overly excited. They talked for hours about wedding talk and it only made Kenya that much more excited to get things started.

          When they got in later that evening Kenya bathed Jay and dressed him in a all-white Gucci linen short set and on his feet a fresh white pair of air force ones. He was out like a light before she could get him clothes completely. She showered and decided on a black double split maxi skirt, a red crop top, and on her feet she rocked six inch studded peep toe Louboutin spiked silver heels. She pulled her hair into a bun and did very soft makeup. She looked absolutely flawless. She honestly couldn’t ask for more. She was happy and healthy and that was all that mattered.

          As eight o’clock approached Kenya tried calling Jackson. She hadn’t talked to him all day and he hadn’t even come in to change. She didn’t get a answer and figuring that maybe he was just being a little late she didn’t sweat it until it got later and later and Jay grew hungry and fussy. By nine she had fixed him something to eat and got him dressed for bed. She had called Jackson back to back but all to no avail. She lay with Jay on her chest watching as the clock struck ten. She was in a mix of emotions not knowing if she should be pissed or worried. The phone ringing snapped her out of her trance. She looked over and it was Rich calling the house phone. She knew that something was wrong. Rich never ever called the house phone. “Hello,” she answered placing the phone up to her ear.

“Wassup Ken,” he said.

“Rich….” She began uneasy.

“He got knocked….he told me to call to let you know,” he said. Her heart sunk. She was grateful that he was okay but here it was it hadn’t even been a good twenty four hours and already shit was brewing…this was the life she was taking on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!!


Hey everyone hope that you all are enjoying the preparation for the holidays!!! It’s stressful for a lot of us and we’re trying to make sure that everything gets done especially for Christmas. So as we’re in our last stretch of 2013 what are some of the things you want to get accomplished in 2014? I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions a long time ago. I have already had the chance to evolve and meet new people who have supported me so there is no room for me to say that I’m eliminating anyone in my life who is hindering me or don’t mean me any good. As I have grown older I find myself wondering why we wait or put off for tomorrow what can be done today….I mean just being honest here. Why wait until a few weeks later to cut someone off. Or why wait a few weeks from now to start on your business plan, or whatever else you’re trying to do. I mean you can be a little closer if we don’t wait. It seems that’s all I’m seeing now. In 2014 I’m doing this or I’m doing that….we still got a little time to make 2013 a little life changing. Now don’t get me wrong I have set a few goals for myself but my main thing is to get them accomplished. If I can cross a couple of them off the list within a week that would be great but like I said I’m trying to get them started. I have learned to start off with the short term goals first then make the stretch to the long term goals….I see more and more that failure is not a option and it’s time to make it happen. We all have the same 24 hours in our day and some of us make a stretch staying awake all night just to get that next chapter in our book done, or get that verse covered on a track. Sometimes you have to sacrifice to get a little closer but I see that the sacrifice is way worth it. It’s worth it to be a little closer to something in my eyes. We have so many more opportunities that we should chase and that’s what I plan to do. So for me and everyone reading I hope and pray that our 2014 is way more prosperous, joyous, and full of achieved goals. Start now and you never know how much closer that may put you. As for me I’m just over here working on a couple books, my first movie script, looking for film producers, saving money and enjoying life. Your best investment can be in yourself so let’s go and make it happen.  I hope that you guys enjoy your Christmas and tune in next week I have a special….special….special surprise for you!!!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Facing Fears!


Hey everyone I hope you all enjoyed your holidays! Due to a few technical difficulties I couldn’t post last week but I’m bacccckkkkk!!!!! So this week my topic is FEAR!!! We all have fears whether it’s from simple things or more complex. Being fearful of something is probably one of the biggest obstacles that can very well stand in-between you and what you are trying to accomplish. As I have grown older I have learned more and more each day that you simply can’t let your fears stand in-between you and what you are trying to do. For instance I’m going to open up about some of my fears. One big fear of mine has always been rejection. I used to would honestly say well…..I’m not going to do this because no one may like it or people may push it to the side. It was pretty simple minded because as long as you tell yourself yes then the no’s shouldn’t matter. I guess at some point we all play victim to our own harsh criticism. I learned that my vision is something that is MINE! Not anyone else’s and it’s up to you to get it done. I look back on how I use to be more of a safe player and I realize that risk and being more edgy is what gets you what you want. I’m not there yet but I know I’m on my way. Another bigger fear of mine is probably going to be failure. Sometimes we all dream so big and have this long list of things we are trying to get accomplished that you think it is just way too much for you to do. I often thought that some of the things that I thought about were beyond me!! For example I’m finishing up the final touches on my book that will be released early 2014 and my main goal is to make this thing bigger than ever. I set expectations for myself and that’s what I plan to reach. I try being reasonable but how can you be reasonable when you know what you are capable of or what you desire to be. It’s a major difference between simply sitting and talking about your dreams and you slowly opening the doors to live them out. I don’t think about failing others I think about failing myself. I never want to be that person who sits back and watch what’s happening then have to boggle my mind on why it’s that way. I never want to be that. I know that everything has to be done through trial and error. You’re going to make mistakes and you’re going to fall down more times than one. I get all of that. They say if your dreams don’t scare you then you’re not dreaming big enough….I guess I say that to simply say we all have fears. I try not to let mine stand in my way at all. I know that I’m going to do things and realize that I probably should have done it differently. I’m learning to be self-motivated. I have a great support system no doubt but no matter what you still have your own battles that you fight within yourself. It’s no such thing as no…..as long as you tell yourself yes that’s all that count. We can’t let our fears talk us down from our dreams. So I hope that this reached someone and we all get started accomplishing what we set out to do. It’s nothing like the overwhelming feeling of seeing your dreams come true. That’s the best achievement ever. LET’S NOT PUT OFF FOR 2014 FOR WHAT WE CAN START NOW!!!! It’s time!!!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

It's a Love Hate Thing!!!!

So today we’re going to talk about recovery after the heartbreak. As I discussed in my debut blog how I went through my very first real heartbreak and now what about the aftermath? Some women are ready and willing to move on after their “recovery period” and see what’s next in their future while others…myself included are on pause. Meaning we don’t really know what we want and how we want to go about it because we DO NOT want to feel that pain again. It’s a pain that is so indescribable but it hurts. So most of us have our guards up and we go with this long list of things that the next man we encounter can or can’t be. I was talking to one of my friends and I feel like I’m a pretty reasonable person and she went on to tell me about what she was expecting and how she didn’t want to be that chick who was basically looking for love in all the wrong places. Going from relationship to relationship without actually learning nor gaining anything. I mean by now we should all know that we can’t make a guy be who we want them to be but we can choose who we want to give our time to. So anyway….we were talking and she went on to tell me how she basically try not to get too close to guys so that she won’t have to worry about being hurt if things go left field. Which like I said….it’s simply unreasonable. We all know the purpose of dating is to get to know people and see what we like and dislike and enjoy ourselves in this learning process. It’s funny how one person can change the way most women view all men. But me on the other hand I’m up for dating but my main thing is the fact that I’m going through this journey and I’m finding myself….a lot of me feel like I want to invest this time in me but what happens when a guy come along who you’re really feeling? I know that all things are meant to be but where does the line get drawn? How can you take the experiences from your past relationship and not bring them into your future ones? As hard as it is to believe it’s true….not all men are alike just like not all women are! There are still some genuine people out here in the world who do aspire to bring out the best in you….I mean it may take some time but maybe all hope doesn’t have to be lost! I’m learning to appreciate the trials and tribulations now because who knows what the future may hold…..We all want the rainbow but no one wants the rain. So it’s okay to have boundaries and limits….just make sure in the process your being realistic. Surround yourself with the people who bring out the best in you….the signs are always evident but a lot of times we look past them because we don’t want to let go or we don’t want to lose all the time we feel like we have invested…starting over sometimes is the best thing to do. It’s hard but sometimes it’s the best….  

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

MY SEVEN STEPS OF SANITY


So let me first start off with a major thank you for everyone who has been reading so far and supporting me. I can’t say thank you enough! I am so overwhelmed and honestly as hectic as everything is I am so grateful that I have the support because it keeps me grounded and motivated! So this week as I promised I am coming with SEVEN STEPS OF SANITY! I have had the chance to live, grow, and learn and I am really loving this person I am becoming. Now in my Seven Steps of Sanity it is coming from my view points and the things that I have been through personally. I find myself sometime all over the place and wondering what my purpose is. Why do I have this big imagination that I can’t seem to keep under control? Why do I have such big dreams, aspirations, and furthermore expectations? Why can’t I just get what I want accomplished now? I have so much on me and at times I feel like I’m going to crumble! If it’s not the stress of trying to get work done, then it’s parenting, or the feeling of feeling like you just never get the chance to pause, or the fact that you can give a person your last and they still expect you to produce more to give! Well, this has been me this past year and a half. Through triumph, laughter, tears, hard work, and dedication I have managed to make it and with my head still attached to my body! Below are some of the things that I am learning to do to keep me sane and make sure that outside of everything I am happy!

 

1.     Prayer! This is the first thing on my list because I remember a time when I didn’t really have much. I was stuck feeling lost and unsure of my purpose or what I wanted to do. Go to school, get a job, or anything else. I was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was so out of whack. I remember when Monday came and I was thinking “Man…things can’t get any worse.” Then Wednesday came and I found them ten times worse than what they were. I am not the holiest person walking and I am not going to act like I am but it has honestly been through prayer and the grace of God that I have made it this far. There have been situations where I never thought that there would be a light but as he always seem to do he showed up and showed out. I thought that I was building a plan but he came and showed me that he had such a bigger one for me. This is why I say pray. No matter what dark tunnel you’re going through pray. It’s only so much advice that family and friends can give you. He’s the person that I know is listening even if no one else is.

2.     Learn yourself! Identify what makes you happy. What you want to do in life. It is a common stage in life where we really don’t know what route we want to take. I know that I have had some things that I have started and never completed. Going to school for nursing was on big one. I let a lot of people drill that in my head. “Its great money…its career stability….your always guaranteed a job!” Yes, all those things are true! They really are. But what about the fact that I don’t want to draw blood. Or I’m not interested in learning all the medical terminology. What about the fact that I just don’t want to be a nurse! You can’t let what other’s feel is right for you be your reality! It’s not fair! We all get the same seven days a week and just because they wish that they can go back and go down that career path doesn’t mean that you should let them force it on you! Learn what makes you happy! What makes you feel like you are doing what completes you inside! Sometimes it takes time....but it’s okay. I always felt like I wasn’t being realistic with what I wanted to be but when I realized that I can either live my life making someone else rich or live my life building my own empire I chose ME!

3.     State your goals and speak your success into existence! I want to be a bestselling author! I want to be a rapper! I want to be a doctor! I want to be a lawyer, counselor, social worker, or accountant! I want to be GREAT AND SUCCESSFUL! Success is something that we all want to achieve! No matter what you do we all want the bigger picture but the thing about it is that we all have different platforms and we have to work like we never have before. In my eyes and this is just MY OPINION as I always stress we have much more of a bigger platform than ever before. Don’t, get me wrong in so many cases it’s who you know BUT it’s also what you know! You have to take the steps to educate yourself on what YOU want to accomplish! We have so much more than the people before us! We have social media which is one of the absolute best platforms to better your craft. (This is me going into more of my goal!) I can’t expect to put something out but not be willing to work hard to make it reach its full potential. Because it’s up to you to invest in yourself and further more believe in yourself! You can’t just go say that this is my dream….this is what I am going to do because you know what more than half of the people you tell that to are going to look at you and laugh but that’s why you have to eat, breath, and live YOUR dreams to reach your SUCCESS!

4.     Be mindful of people! Soooo now we getting to the real! How many of you guys have that one person who you can become the President of the United States and instead of them congratulating you their telling you a million and one ways you could have campaigned better or how you didn’t do this correctly. I used to let those people get to me but then I realized that it has to be something wrong with me to let this small minded mofo make me feel inferior. I mean seriously….we all can do things a little better but trial and tribulation is what makes the victory worth it! The things you learn on the way is what makes the success so much better. “Never let a person who never lived out their dreams talk you out of yours!” I live by that….many people laugh at the author trying to make it. Or call the rapper garbage because he is not like everyone else but that’s what makes us so unique and different. We were all given different visions and different purposes. First, they’ll laugh at what you did then they’ll ask how you did it!!!!

5.     Relationships know what bridge to cross and which one is worth burning! We all know whether it’s a friendship, relationship, or whatever they take so much out of you. The people who we would give our last to are the ones already stealing it. When you interact with people you want them to give you as much as you put out but I had to learn the hard way that not everyone knows how to be a friend. You can’t expect for someone to give something that they don’t know how to give! People will take so much out of you and then when you’re dried up their either trying to squeeze a little more out or their on to the next. You can’t give everything to someone who doesn’t deserve nothing and furthermore you can’t give a person anything that you don’t have to give yourself. But we always seem to go above and beyond….trying to help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves.  I’m a firm believer that people are placed in your life as a lesson or a blessing. I have had more lessons than I would rather count but it is what it is. We have to take that lesson and apply it for future references.

6.     Learn to let go. Yes….anyone who know me know that I can be very evil when I’m pissed. I will think of ten million things that a person did to piss me off and hold it forever. That is something that I learned that I have to work on. I hold grudges forever and a day and probably more so because I know that when I’m fed up with you then you have really done it. But now I’m noticing how much energy it takes from me….it takes so much to be upset and angry. We never forget but forgiving is mandatory in my eyes because it brings peace within you! It’s not about easing their conscious but about bringing you some leverage!  Someone told me one day…”Brittany don’t let your past make you bitter. Let that be a stepping stone for you to get better.” That was probably one of the best things that they could have said. Being angry at someone who has hurt you or took your kindness for weakness isn’t helping you at all. They’re going to get what they deserve because karma is a funny thing. It comes along at a time when you least expect it and seem to hit you where it hurt repeatedly. I learned that and from being on both ends! I try to treat people how I want to be treated and if they mess that up then it’s okay because it’s their lost not mine!

7.     Finally have a positive outlet. We all come to the end of our rope where nothing is going right. We tried ten plans over and over and each one didn’t go as planned. We’re tired of talking to people who don’t understand our struggle. You’re tired of feeling like you just simply can’t win for losing.  We all go through that and if it’s no pain no gain. So as for me I love to listen to music and just take time out to clear my mind and put things into perspective. Sometimes you can talk to people until your blue in the face and although they are sincere we still have to face the reality that no one never really know what to say when we’re going through certain things. Outside of that sometime the answer that we’re looking for they just don’t know to give it. So rather it’s taking time to collect yourself, writing in a journal, or another hobby I find it as a must. Sometime life gives you batches of lemons and although we’re unprepared we still have to figure out how to make lemonade.

 

So guys this has been my Seven Steps to Sanity on my journey that has just began and I hope that you all found something helpful to take away. I love you all and thanks for all the support! It’s greatly appreciated! Remember when all else fail pray because he wouldn’t bring you to it if he didn’t plan to bring you through it! God id love and let’s make this trip one worth taking!!! Next week same time same place!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

TRAVEL MY HEART!!!!


             Have you ever loved someone so much until all you wanted him to do is what was best for you guys to be together? That even when he gave you a trillion and one reasons to let his ass go you still stuck around? You stayed through the lying, the cheating, and the downright craziness. Well, a couple of years ago that chick was me. I was in love….feeling like I couldn’t function right. I know that a lot of you are thinking awww she stupid or she crazy but it wasn’t that at all. I was simply in love. In love with someone who I was desperately trying to make the man I needed him to be. But truth be told I was only contributing to hurting myself more and more. So today I want to give my opinion on one of the most controversial questions out….CAN YOU CHANGE A MAN???? Can you make him grow out of his ways that are clearly not getting him, you, nor the relationship anywhere? What do you do? Do you stick around hoping and praying that he will eventually see that you are going to be in his corner and the things that you are trying to tell him are merely stepping stones for him to get his ish together? So attached is my story and this is by far one of the hardest things that I probably have accomplished. Being in love is a big rollercoaster but it’s time we learn when to hold em and when to fold em. I know that there will be a lot of questioning going on and I also know that not everyone will agree with what I’m saying but this is MY OPINION and WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH!!! I admit not all situations are the same but mine was exactly what EVERYONE said it would be like. I’m not mad at myself for staying because I learned a hell of a lot that has taken me very far these past couple of years….and before we judge let’s all look in the mirror. We are all flawed but that’s what make us human! So enjoy and be sure to comment or hit me up on Facebook with any advice you want me to include in a future blog or whatever! The support has been great and I am so happy because you guys are motivating me to continue. So go ahead and read because if it reaches one woman then I have done a great deed!!!

 

            So a few years back almost five to be exact I gave birth to my baby girl….and clearly the real world hit me. She was born on December 25, 2008 and you talking about a proud moment! That by far is one of the best accomplishments that I have ever reached in my life. She is one person besides my parents who I know love me unconditionally. She don’t look at my short comings because she is just simply happy with me being there. So, coming into motherhood a great percentage of us young mothers are in this mind set of MY FAMILY! That is all we’re looking at. We don’t have much but a great majority of us grow up and own our responsibility and do what we know is right. We’re planning things out….we want our child’s life to be kosher and that’s when most of us come to realize that we have really bitten off more than we can chew. So we go and try to make these instant families with guys who don’t even know what they are up against. We try to “mold” them and make them the man we want and or need them to be but ladies it’s time we realize that we can’t change a man. In all honesty I have learned that it’s hard for me to work on things that I need to change so imagine you drilling in someone head that they need to change for your standards. So anyhow, after having my daughter I had a bigger picture but obviously I was the only one who was seeing things that way because a few weeks after having her I found out that my daughter’s father had another baby on the way…yeah he had another girl pregnant. That should have been reason enough for me to leave but I didn’t. So here we were my baby is about six month’s old and he is having another child. So not only is that the demand of me but it’s also the demand of another woman who wants you there just as much as I do. But, of course I stayed I stuck around through the cheating, the lying, and disrespect only to realize about three years later that I couldn’t change him. I had already given him the cake which I expected him to eat but I stood there with the fork feeding him. There were many of days where my feelings were hurt but it only made me stronger…it was plenty of times when I dreamed so big that only I could see my vision and it hurt me that for a long time he didn’t support me like I felt like he should. But then, when I realized that no matter how much I nag, or pick at him I couldn’t raise him to be a man. I just couldn’t do it. I loved him without a shadow of a doubt and for a long time I just couldn’t picture myself being without him. I wouldn’t picture it. I was scared of life without him but after so many failed attempts and the let downs I finally opened my eyes and my mind. We went through the stage of him being in the streets and that being his main focus all the way to the other girls and its pure bull when you say after so long you get immune to it or maybe it was just me. Each time it hurt worse because you always had that hope that maybe this time will be the last time. I went through trying to make him find a job and even trying to change our environment but that was all to no avail. If someone love you and they don’t want to be without you they are going to take the necessary steps to make sure that you have 99 reasons to stay. Don’t get me wrong we all fall short but it just amaze me to see how as women we put up with so much. Although, I never will forget the things that I have gone through I thank him because now I know that yeah I date and talk to guys but I come first….I have to find what makes me happy and if a man really wants you he is going to do everything in his power to make sure that he is right when he step to you. So this to me was by far one of my bigger lessons and I say that because I took the step to end a relationship that wasn’t healthy. I realized that I couldn’t change him, mold him, nor raise him. I did that. I learned what made me happy and what my goals were. I let go and I realized just how much easier it is to breathe and in the mist of me doing it I can move on and not be bitter because I came, I saw, and I conquered. We all go through things but only we have to power to change our situations and me….I got tired of trying to make me a husband. I couldn’t take no more….I learned so much and those lessons are forever cherished because it made me wiser and tougher. So I hope you guys got a little more insight and hope you enjoyed getting to know a little more about me!!! Hope you all will be reading next week because we’re going to speak on My SEVEN STEPS TO SANITY!!!! So if you like please catch me next Wednesday! Blogs will drop every Wednesday at 9p.m. and if I’m doing more than one that week I will let you guys know!!! Like I said before write me, message me, follow me on IG @blou_bliss Twitter @bloubliss22 and Facebook Blou Bliss!!! Remember God is love and our biggest enemy is the one staring at us in the mirror!!! #Bloubareitall #insidemyheart

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Blou Bare It All: Why Are We Our Worse Enemy!


So it’s been a long time since I have blogged and I am so excited to say that I am back like I never left!!!! Yes, that’s right I’m back! I started out blogging last year around May when I dropped my debut novel 4 Better or 4 Worse which if you haven’t read it you should do so NOW! I’m currently working on part 2 which will be on Amazon in January of 2014!!! But anyway I decided to come back to the blogging world and broaden my horizon. I have been spending a lot of time just simply trying to find myself outside of the obvious likes and dislikes….yeah I’m a mother, a author, hard worker, dedicated friend and so much more but what is it that I like? That has been my ultimate question and although I can’t pin point one answer I have come up with many! So as I’m on this journey of life and a path to follow one of my many dreams and accomplish a important goal of mine I’m going to keep my readers up to date with me! Meaning I’m going to bare it ALL…yes I’m going to let you guys know my day to day struggles and some of the obstacles that I am going through as well as the days that I am down right pissed off!!! So if you looking for anything else sorry but I can’t help you. I also want you guys to write me and let me know what’s going on in your life and if you need advice reach out or if you have advice fill me in. I’m not perfect but none of us are and I know that some of my favorite celebs I be like damn….I want to know what makes them like me. What makes them understand how I’m feeling at some point? So continue reading and let me know what you guys are thinking or how you can relate.

 

Our Biggest Enemy Is the One Staring Back At Us In The Mirror

            Ever had those days where you just feeling like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Like you have so many things that you want to accomplish but not only do you not know what steps to take but you’re feeling like you just don’t know how the hell YOU can do it? Or how you “simple” ole you can be that? Well in so many ways I have been that girl….doubting myself because the answer is not there spelled out for me. For instance, when I first wrote 4 Better or 4 Worse I rewrote it numerous times….I would literally be at work thinking of the next chapter in my novel. I started writing when I was in seventh grade and my imagination has been on overload for a very long time. I stopped writing as much during my teenage years but old habits die hard. With pen and paper I feel like that is me making magic. I feel like I’m doing great things. I’m not like every other writer but in all actuality I don’t want to be because we all have a different voice and style. So when my cousin talked to me about self-publishing I doubted myself….will anyone read what I’m writing? Will they like it? What if I get rejected? Well…..that was a risk that I had to take and I’m so glad that I did. I have had the overwhelming feeling of my readers tweeting and messaging me telling me how much they enjoyed my books and are really looking forward to part two to each one. So what’s holding me back? I’m learning that I have to give 1000% because without it you have nothing. If you don’t believe in yourself you can’t expect anyone else to. Your dreams are your dreams and that’s why you have to work hard at making them YOUR reality! I have felt some type of way because I have “friends” who haven’t read or supported my work but now I don’t cry over spilled milk….I support those who support me and keep it moving. When you grow up and learn that you’re different from the average person you stray….they don’t understand your passion. Most people are content and I learned that when you step outside the box and do something out of THEIR ordinary they won’t support you until they see your success. So many people ask why I don’t do this or where I be and the best thing I know is to say getting myself right…I have to do it. If not for myself then to show my baby that even in this day and age….it’s more things to life than what we see and you can be whatever your heart desires. So I say that to say this…..only I can make that first move and that goes for us all. We can’t sit around and keep putting things off for tomorrow when if we start today we will be that much closer…..I’m doing me and I don’t care who’s not with it!!!! So if you like please catch me next Wednesday! Blogs will drop every Wednesday at 9pm Central Time and if I’m doing more than one that week I will let you guys know!!! Like I said before write me, message me, follow me on IG @blou_bliss Twitter @bloubliss22 and Facebook Blou Bliss!!! Remember God is love and our biggest enemy is the one staring at us in the mirror!!! #Bloubareitall #insidemyheart